Comments on: Aggressively Dressed Dandy http://www.matthewbivins.com/2006/04/17/aggressively-dressed-dandy/ fitter, happier, more subjective Sun, 27 Sep 2009 23:18:30 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: diflulcan http://www.matthewbivins.com/2006/04/17/aggressively-dressed-dandy/comment-page-1/#comment-3047 diflulcan Wed, 25 Jul 2007 19:33:12 +0000 http://www.matthewbivins.com/?p=6#comment-3047 <strong>diflulcan...</strong> diflulcan... diflulcan…

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]]> By: Katy http://www.matthewbivins.com/2006/04/17/aggressively-dressed-dandy/comment-page-1/#comment-13 Katy Sun, 23 Apr 2006 18:17:42 +0000 http://www.matthewbivins.com/?p=6#comment-13 Wou write so cleverly....Sorry....I don't have anything constructive about to say about ADD, but I just love reading your writing. It is endlessly entertaining. Wou write so cleverly….Sorry….I don’t have anything constructive about to say about ADD, but I just love reading your writing. It is endlessly entertaining.

]]> By: Vanessa http://www.matthewbivins.com/2006/04/17/aggressively-dressed-dandy/comment-page-1/#comment-8 Vanessa Wed, 19 Apr 2006 22:15:48 +0000 http://www.matthewbivins.com/?p=6#comment-8 It wasn’t until I was well into my 20’s that ADD was suggested to me by a doctor I had been seeing. I thought surely he was a nut becasue I always got good grades, was never hyperactive, was more introverted than extroverted, blah blah blah. I am still not so sure that I buy into his theory, but I do completely identify with your post, and a great deal of the comments as well. In the few years before I gave birth to Quinn (4.5 yrs old now) I spent a lot of time stressed out and depressed that I couldn’t seem to “get my shit together” like my peers. I grew up doing theatre where every 6 weeks my life would drastically change, starting from the time I was about 4. Add that to constantly changing step fathers and houses and schools, the only consistancy was inconsistancy and the only routine being spontinaity. Did I (do I) have a chemical issue or was it (is it) all environmental? Who knows. The truth is I still have days where I am so overwhelmed by all that needs to be done that nothing gets accomplished except feeding the kids. And often times those days end in me being depressed about my lack of stick-to-itivness to “get my shit together”. In my case, I was always treated for depression issues rather than for ADD. I sometimes think that the former is more often caused by the later, than people just having depression issues alone. Who knows… I have been med free for almost five years, this being the longest stretch of med free time in my life. Honestly, having kids has grounded me a lot. Not that I am suggesting to anyone to have children to overcome or to learn to cope with ADD or any other sort of thing. My kids were both surprises. But I have to admit there is a true sence of accomplishment from sticking with something long term and seeing it through (yes, I know I have years of the parenting process left) that I had never felt before in my life. I think it is just a different way of being wired… At any rate, Matt, you are fabulous. I like to look at it like this… would you rather read a book about our lives (ADD ish type) or about the lives of the 40 hour a week mundane types? We would be on the best sellers list for a reason… Vanessa It wasn’t until I was well into my 20’s that ADD was suggested to me by a doctor I had been seeing. I thought surely he was a nut becasue I always got good grades, was never hyperactive, was more introverted than extroverted, blah blah blah. I am still not so sure that I buy into his theory, but I do completely identify with your post, and a great deal of the comments as well.

In the few years before I gave birth to Quinn (4.5 yrs old now) I spent a lot of time stressed out and depressed that I couldn’t seem to “get my shit together” like my peers. I grew up doing theatre where every 6 weeks my life would drastically change, starting from the time I was about 4. Add that to constantly changing step fathers and houses and schools, the only consistancy was inconsistancy and the only routine being spontinaity. Did I (do I) have a chemical issue or was it (is it) all environmental? Who knows. The truth is I still have days where I am so overwhelmed by all that needs to be done that nothing gets accomplished except feeding the kids. And often times those days end in me being depressed about my lack of stick-to-itivness to “get my shit together”. In my case, I was always treated for depression issues rather than for ADD. I sometimes think that the former is more often caused by the later, than people just having depression issues alone. Who knows… I have been med free for almost five years, this being the longest stretch of med free time in my life.

Honestly, having kids has grounded me a lot. Not that I am suggesting to anyone to have children to overcome or to learn to cope with ADD or any other sort of thing. My kids were both surprises. But I have to admit there is a true sence of accomplishment from sticking with something long term and seeing it through (yes, I know I have years of the parenting process left) that I had never felt before in my life.

I think it is just a different way of being wired… At any rate, Matt, you are fabulous. I like to look at it like this… would you rather read a book about our lives (ADD ish type) or about the lives of the 40 hour a week mundane types? We would be on the best sellers list for a reason…

Vanessa

]]> By: Debbie Leonard http://www.matthewbivins.com/2006/04/17/aggressively-dressed-dandy/comment-page-1/#comment-7 Debbie Leonard Wed, 19 Apr 2006 17:58:28 +0000 http://www.matthewbivins.com/?p=6#comment-7 Hi Matt, As the mother of one "officially diagnosed" child w/ADD and the wife of an "officially diagnosed" man w/ADD and the teacher of many children like this, I can tell you that I definitely believe that ADD is not a made-up syndrome. However, I don't necessarily think of it as a bad thing. When it interferes with your relationships and ability to function well, then it needs to be addressed. But those with ADD have gifts that those of us without don't and vice versa. We need all types in the world. And, your comment about going through school with good grades and not being diagnosed is not all that uncommon. Many bright students do not find out that they have attention problems (and yes, we all have them from time to time) until they reach the place where their need to attend is beyond their capabilities. For example, you may ace high school and even college, but at some point, you will hit the academic wall, where even the sounds of the birds outside will drive you stark raving mad because you need to concentrate and can't. Unfortunately, these days, too many people blame their lack of productivity and organization on ADD and too many children are medicated without providing the appropriate environment (structure, regulating television viewing, etc). Even people without attention problems need to have organizational supports in place to function well. Some just need more than others. I've read the books you mentioned as well, and I think there is a lot of validity in his theory. But, I long for the day that while we recognize the difficulties we all have going about our day to day lives, we can just accept each other for what we are, and that we can take the responsibility to modify behavior that keeps us from being the best we can be or that which keeps us relating in unproductive ways to the people we love. Hi Matt,
As the mother of one “officially diagnosed” child w/ADD and the wife of an “officially diagnosed” man w/ADD and the teacher of many children like this, I can tell you that I definitely believe that ADD is not a made-up syndrome. However, I don’t necessarily think of it as a bad thing. When it interferes with your relationships and ability to function well, then it needs to be addressed. But those with ADD have gifts that those of us without don’t and vice versa. We need all types in the world. And, your comment about going through school with good grades and not being diagnosed is not all that uncommon. Many bright students do not find out that they have attention problems (and yes, we all have them from time to time) until they reach the place where their need to attend is beyond their capabilities. For example, you may ace high school and even college, but at some point, you will hit the academic wall, where even the sounds of the birds outside will drive you stark raving mad because you need to concentrate and can’t.

Unfortunately, these days, too many people blame their lack of productivity and organization on ADD and too many children are medicated without providing the appropriate environment (structure, regulating television viewing, etc). Even people without attention problems need to have organizational supports in place to function well. Some just need more than others.

I’ve read the books you mentioned as well, and I think there is a lot of validity in his theory. But, I long for the day that while we recognize the difficulties we all have going about our day to day lives, we can just accept each other for what we are, and that we can take the responsibility to modify behavior that keeps us from being the best we can be or that which keeps us relating in unproductive ways to the people we love.

]]> By: Lauren Paredes http://www.matthewbivins.com/2006/04/17/aggressively-dressed-dandy/comment-page-1/#comment-4 Lauren Paredes Wed, 19 Apr 2006 01:35:28 +0000 http://www.matthewbivins.com/?p=6#comment-4 If you took a look into my "My Documents" folder you would find about 30 pieces of writing that I have begun and only begun. I have maybe 4 or 5 that I have completed and the rest are all things I have always said I'd come back to. I've moved 14 times in 19 years and I always feel as though I'm on the verge of something but I can never finish anything. Reading your entry just now made me realize all of this about myself. Is this common problem something to really worry about? This kind of aimless is not so carefree. At any rate, you write beautifully and concisely; It is definately a very fine combination. If you took a look into my “My Documents” folder you would find about 30 pieces of writing that I have begun and only begun. I have maybe 4 or 5 that I have completed and the rest are all things I have always said I’d come back to. I’ve moved 14 times in 19 years and I always feel as though I’m on the verge of something but I can never finish anything.

Reading your entry just now made me realize all of this about myself. Is this common problem something to really worry about? This kind of aimless is not so carefree.

At any rate, you write beautifully and concisely; It is definately a very fine combination.

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