Joanne Colan in Tikal, Guatamela

Originally uploaded by Ian Savage.

I’ve gotten plenty of flak for grandly and publicly announcing my crushes, but I can’t help it. Rocketboom.com is my favorite way to start the day and Joanne Colan is one of the main reasons I love to watch. She’s so lovely and fun! And makes me want to start an internet news program. Who is with me?

I am intense. It’s true. I always have been. And this intensity can draw people to me and scare them away. But how else am I going to get what I want, in life? If I don’t wake up every morning and attack something? Especially now, when I’m doing everything I can to learn everything I can? I’m lucky now to even feel this way, to feel like there is a place for me, somewhere, that I can be fulfilled in most ways… not sure where it is, yet, but I do feel like I’m getting closer. I think there was a time in the rock band when I lost that edgy feeling, and, though it might have made me an easier person to be around, it wasn’t really me. And so it didn’t feel very good. I’m older and wiser, now… I think that it’s easier to pass as “normal” now than it was ten years ago, but I’m kind of glad that I’m this way. Intense.

I have my very first acting audition in a few weeks. For my mother’s company, the Barter Theatre in Virginia. I just want to go for the experience, really. Getting a job there would take me away from Charleston for a month or more, and I’m not sure I can do that, anyway. But it’s exciting to be a little nervous about something, to stretch in ways I haven’t. It’s good for me.

Still trying to come up with sneaky ways to financially counteract all this non-paying work I’m doing. Besides whoring, which without fail is the number one suggestion from anyone that I ask for advice on how to make money. Interesting. Vaguely interesting, anyway.

Mary Lucy.

Originally uploaded by M. Bivins.

Yes. This is our mother, on the cover of the Barter Theatre program. Can’t you see the family resemblance?

Great Evan’s Beard!

Originally uploaded by M. Bivins.

Bivins family trip to virginia. Where we get to watch someone else (our mother) be on stage.