I just got my new computer in the mail. I’ve started this post about three times, but fell asleep each time, while talking about how excited I am about it, how it’s a worthy upgrade to a great computer, how there was nothing wrong with my old computer but I had some friends in need that… uh…. zzzzzzzz… hrmfh…

WHa?? …whoops! Did it again. OK. I’m going to try again. Here are some great things about my new computer:

1. It is definitely not portable. I can’t keep myself awake all night by watching downloaded TV shows or DVDs or youtube videos featuring Monchichis anymore, which might make me a little bit more boring as a person but is completely fantastic for my sleep cycle.
2. It’s enormous. The upgrade to my old desktop, Kathryn, adds 4 inches to the screen, and it’s kind of freaking me out. (Insert tried-and-true cliche about how “size matters”… zzzz… snort. Oh! What?)
3. It’s bright. It’s so bright that when I went to take my nightly [unapologetically] narcissistic photo of myself using Apple’s Photobooth, I actually had to turn off the fake flash the program uses because the screen is so freaking bright.
4. I love the new keyboard. I have never been a fan of the rinky-dink white keyboards Apple has been using for the past several years, difficult to type on and so easy to besmirch, but these new-fangled jobbies are sleek, sexy, and typing on it is like slipping down a candy-colored waterslide at Carowinds, circa 1989.
5. It matches my iPhone, which means that everything in my office that isn’t made of brushed aluminum and glass has to go. Sorry, sofa, rug, and toilet!

Whew, made it! That’s all I can take right now. Thanks for hanging on that long, yourself!

…Hello? Are you asleep?

Damn.